Budget Matikor!

Budget Matikor- adjectival noun to describe a party that prepares you for sex. etymology, English and Bhojpuri. Refers to Matikor night in traditional Hindu weddings when the young bride to be is prepared for her upcoming wedding and wedding night. Usually involves, food, dancing and alcohol. Budget Matikor is a party thrown by the PP to soften the people up for the bull the budget will put on us. Usage: Is Budget Matikor in we pweffen this weekend!

I just finish bag about 500,000 pholourie with some watered down pommecythere chutney. Just now me and Ambassador Baps going and booojay some lawah because it is Budget Matikor!


Yes folks, the pre-Budget Rally to help us forget that Kamla and her Cabinet tried to free Ish and Steve with Section 34….and to grease us up to take the bull that will be Budget 2012/2013 is under way.

The CEPEP Workers Ready!

The Flags Ready!

The Ipads Ready!

Larry Ready!

Keshorn Ready!

The stage is in front of us time to get advantageous, rape the treasury and pump we flag!

Mind you, I hearing that the headliner act, Mr Heh Haaaa might be missing ah fete….we go see if he will let Miss Must Fete party without him tonight.


But in all seriousness folks we need to assess a few things.

Trinidad and Tobago, the land of 9 days wonders has broken that trend with Section 34, more than 20 days have passed and we still vexed as ever about the fast one this government try to pull on us and the constant lies, half truths and misdirections they keep pulling out of hats. Instead of Kamla Persad-Bissessar womanning up and telling the country the truth she gives us 30 minutes of televised lies in a speech and then tells Ernie Ross to handle the PR and marketing for the next week. Then in that week you have her bloggers attacking people using racist or violent language to do so. I see on Suruj Rambachan page they called Rowley Rawan…the old Hindu standby for insulting anyone of afro-creole descent….liken them to the greatest villain in the Ramleela, ent? One wonders if Warner will be given the role of Hanuman or Ram in this epic, given his proximity to Sita….

So, in this past week anyone who questioned the Government’s role in passing Section 34 was attacked, called racist, threatened with violence. Reporters who were doing their job and investigating and probing public officials were targetted and attacked by no less than the Minister of National Security….imagine Jack Warner has surpassed Manning for aggression and rumours of corruption! Media workers have been threatened with having the details of their personal lives and sexual orientations revealed….all in an attempt to intimidate them and make them cower before the might of the PP. A coalition government that Prakash Ramadhar remains committed to.

Well Mr Warner, let me save you the harassment. I am a try-sexual. I will try anything once except you and your stinking government…..and I put high on that list Doopeesingh, Roodimonster, &&, and yourself! Print that son…and keep harassing me.

What continues to bemuse me is the behaviour of UNC supporters, rabidly lashing out at all and sundry in defence of their party, and in defending their party they are defending and supporting shit! Not a group will stand up and say to Kamla and her small goal side ENOUGH! Not one of them will say to her publicly, this is wrong, you are hurting the nation…..not one of them will put country before tribe and yet they continue to carry the privilege of being called citizens.

In their bid for ethnic dominance in a multi-ethnic space they have lost sight the rights of other groups…..every creed and race can only have an equal place here, after they have had their fill…..tsk tsk UNC/COP….you will suffer for your greed. Mark my words….and I will write the obituary!

So today we have a fete…because Miss Must Fete needs her weapons of mass distraction…it’s the only way she can rule (not lead…never lead…and I point fingers now at the local Feminazis who have supported her, continue to support her and willingly line up for National Awards and yet never once speak about against the foolishness).

Today we will hear about all the good the Party has done.

Today we will hear about Manning, Rowley, Hart and how TheVote for It Too!

Today we will hear Howai deliver a revised budget, because with the country vex so, Kamla will try to give an elections budget of goodies and the treasury cannot afford it.

Today folks, we will hear our Budget be delivered at a fete!

We won’t hear them account for their spending of the last year…and remember they ased for money 2 more times after the intial budget and still went over budget in several ministries. We won’t hear any analysis of last year’s spending or how we are going to weather the economic storm that is here…..the drizzle done coming down….

We won’t hear how much this week’s public broadcast on all local stations and today’s Budget Matikor costing the tax payers…..instead we will hear that the Partnership is strong and LOOK AT PEOPLE! And we have a bigger crowd than Rowley….because political dick measuring is the level of responsibility that we have put into office.

We have gotten a pack of rotten, sickening spoilt brats as a government and they need to be disciplined.

But there is a shift in the winds folks….the citizens brought it on….the government is desperate. In their backrooms and corridors the Jahaji Desi’s are frightened. The UNC supporters are frightened. The COP remain helpless…content to guzzle what they can for as long as they are allowed to guzzle…..but the citizens are waking up.

I will be at Budget Matikor…look out for the videos as I post them up on Twitter and FaceBook and Veetle.

De Vice Cyah Done!


SEA Sickness

I have to admit that the hullabulloo that Grim Doopeesingh making about leaked SEA results has me amused. The leaking of these results, whether digitally or manually is nothing new. As a child when I did the Common Entrance (what it was called then) my parents knew my results two weeks in advance of the date it was released. Indeed, the exam has a history of its results being known in the underground days before it is actually printed in the newspaper or posted online, as is the case these days. And for Doopeesingh to act as if leaked results about which schools which children would have passed for is going to destabilise National Security makes me wonder where his head is at.

Yesterday at a post-Cabinet interview Doopeesingh fingered two employees, and when pressed further admitted that the leak was done to destabilise the good work of the Ministry and that it was politically motivated. Grim needs to work for CSI: Imagination! In less than 24 hours he has solved the case of the wikileaked SEA Results without a clue in hand. Further, Grim has gone past the leak being possibly accidental,or technical inefficiency and gone straight for the conclusion that another political party is attempting to sabotage him. So much for the integrity of an investigation, and waiting for the evidence and facts to come in before arriving at a conclusion. So long before the TTPS could fire up a desktop and begin to investigate, Grim, in his own inimitable style has already closed the case in the court of public opinion. And, here’s the rub, because he has said the crime is politically motivated, people automatically assume it’s PNM supporters behind it. Just look at the comment thread to the story link pasted above. And since is only “black people” does vote for the PNM, we already think we know the ethnicity of the one or two employees that Grim suspects. And since Grim has reported them as being unco-operative then it automatically sets up a scenario of stubborn PNM supporters undermining the poor hardworking UNC government. All the undertones are nicely set up now. And don’t forget that without so much as a touch of the ESC key, he’s already solved a case that hasn’t been investigated yet!

Interestingly enough when the Ministry of Finance and the Parliament’s website was hacked this hubbub wasn’t raised. There was no Minister fingering employees for being incompetent, for attempting to destabilise the government. No reports of it being politically motivated. No mention even of ministers having to call Top Cops to order investigations. And why the Minister of National Security has to be involved is beyond me. I don’t foresee this crime being solved. But I do foresee employees being transferred and UNC cronies being put in their places.

It’s the tampering with health and education that has me perturbed. Fuad Khan’s decision to scrap the examinations for nurses has me confused. In regular pedagogical practice if examination results reflect a high fail rate the usual process is to re-visit the curriculum, re-visit the teaching methods, re-visit the exams structure to assess what’s wrong. But in Trinidad, the Minister of Education scraps the entire exam; removes it as a requirement, and now we’ve set the stage for even more questions to be raised about the quality of the health care provided and for even more concerns to be raised by patients. And this is what I paying health surcharge for?

In the midst of all of this the country seems to have been distracted from the still very important issue of Jagdeo Warnersingh’s breaching of laws and abuse of state resources by deploying army and police to attack a group of environmentalist. I intend to be at the MSJ meeting on Saturday in Curepe to hear what lawyer Vashish Maharaj and express columnist Michael Harris have to say about the slippery slope we are currently on.

Supporters of this government can continue to duck their heads in the sand, blame the PNM and label everyone racist for disagreeing with Kamla’s All Four’s Team’s policies, I making sure I keep myself informed…..because you know De Vice Cyah Done!

A Government at SEA!

Apparently I work in the Ministry of Education….how so? Because I have a pdf copy of the SEA results in my possession. Results that are only supposed to be released tomorrow, July 6th. The Ministry, in a clumsy attempt to cover up the fact that there had been a security breach claimed there was no leak and the only people who knew in advanced that they had passed, were the 20% of students covered in the Concordat Agreement between the government and denominational schools. SPLAAAAT!!! Yep, that’s the sound of shit hitting fan!

Grim Tim is currently bellowing like a wounded ox calling it an act of sabotage. And instead of calling in the police to do its job….because there is a section that deals with cyber crime, he is instead calling on Action Jack….I guess Jack going to issue orders to the police service again. More constitutional breaches in the making? But who cares, right? We supporting the government hardcore regardless of the shit they do, and anybody who criticise them hadda be PNM!!!!

A Hindu teacher spat in a student’s face earlier this week. And according to news paper reports this isn’t the first time she has misbehaved. I can assure you that had it been a Hindu child that this had happened to the uproar and public outcry over it would have been great….because Sat Maharaj knows how to make an issue into an ISSUE. We’d have known who the teacher was, he’d have called for the teacher’s immediate resignation and firing, and all manner of dire warnings would have been issued. I have to wonder though, what causes a teacher, any for that matter, to spit in a child’s face and if this unnamed woman’s action was an act of frustration or prejudice?

The Minister of Health has recently gotten Cabinet approval to do away with Nursing Council Exams. Minister Khan has cited a high failure rate, among other reasons for removing the exam. But I don’t know if he has indicated to anyone that removing the exam means that pretty much anyone can now enter the nursing profession, or huge numbers of nurses can be imported from a foreign country without having to meet any local standards, requirements or face any board. When you hear about the mass importation of foreign nurses remember I said it was going to happen. The Nursing Council is currently taking him to task. But I am wondering if it will go anywhere. One of the worst things to happen to this country is the large Parliamentary majority Kamla’s All Fours’ team got. They now run roughshod over the Parliament making and breaking laws as they damn well please!

Apparently nobody clear on who bring Shaq to Trinidad, first Jack and Kamla implied that two Ministries, Sport and National Security, brought him down for a joint crime initiative. Now Moonilal the Court Jester is saying a private businessman paid for Shaq’s trip….who is the businessman? Does he pay taxes? Private Citizens supporting Crime Initiatives now? And Action Jack is now supporting Moonilal saying Shaq’s visit didn’t cost us a cent! This government turn mouth too bad. Is always multiple stories with them that they can never quite get straight.

Doh worry, by Saturday we will hear that nobody paid for Shaq’s trip, he paid for it himself…and by Sunday it’ll be that Shaq got off his plane by accident and decided to mop a drop from the PM to Beetham Gardens. What we are sure of though, is that somehow we being lied to and DE Vice Cyah Done!

The Re-Shovelled Deck :A Govt on All Fours…

The Re-Shovelled Cabinet. Photo courtesy Guardian website

(2years, 29dys)

I grew up in a house where All-Fours was a serious game. My uncle played tournaments. It would irk him to no end to see how casually his nieces and nephews would play things like Rummy without a properly shuffled deck, removal of the Jokers and proper cutting. It was from him I learned to play cards, to understand the signs of the game of All-Fours, and to know that even if I was dealt a weak hand, if my partner had a stronger hand, and we both understood the mechanics of bluffing and kept straight faces, we could come out with solid wins.

Kamla’s much anticipated re-shovelling of the Cabinet yesterday, went far beyond my expectations, and yet fell short of it in some ways. She was right to call it a Cabinet Reconfiguration, because that’s what she did. Kamla took her old cabinet to a joiner and basically asked, “How I could make this thing look and function different, without wasting the material?” After announcing the cabinet last night, the focus of everyone, from layman, to political parties to political gurus, was the appointment of the Minister of National Security. Supporters of the party hailed it as a good move, detractors frothed at the mouth, and some dashed off hastily written press releases. I was more interested in the details of the entire cupboard. My father is a joiner, is so I stop!

By now we all know who the players are in this NEW CABINET…and that’s what it is. Yes they are still calling themselves the  People’s Partnership, but the 2010 Cabinet and the 2012 Cabinet look very different. It’s almost as if we got a new government, without going to the polls…..that can’t be good, because it means that 2 years and 1 month into office, Kamla and her even larger Small Goal side are starting from scratch.

In the midst of an economic meltdown, spiralling crime rates, rising unemployment, meteoric food prices…..this government that promised to bring change, is attempting to press the re-set button and act like the last two years of misstepping didn’t happen.

The Old Cupboard….

Kamla, as card dealer, revealed two things last night: she knows that her government and governance is failing; and she knows she has to make her boldest move for Ejection 2015 (it’s not a misspelling) now!

Her speech last night was filled with the usual campaign rhetoric, but in a more subdued tone; because while Kamla’s words stated that her government had been working hard and achieving much, the Cabinet she was about to reveal said louder than anything else in the room that the PP has failed. Kamla referred to a depleted treasury, yet, we know that Dookeran came and met a stable economy; just as Devant Maharaj met a Caribbean Airlines that was in the black. We know too that in 2010 she met a crime rate that was lower than what we have right now.  But of course, this government never admits to making a mess of things, just like the last regime. So Kamla segued into listing her changes by implying that she consulted with the people and was now taking the criticism on board.

Understand that this Cabinet Re-Shovel comes in under one month since they spent $9m patting themselves on the back for being in power for 2 years and staying stronger than ever. In less than a month of that Eat Ah Food Fete the Partnership was destroyed when the MSJ broke ranks. It’s something she didn’t make mention of last night. Indeed the four parties that remain don’t like referring to the MSJ anymore because they know that in truth and fact they are no longer the People’s Partnership, but rather a UNC Alliance All Fours Team. And in future that’s how I’ll be referring to them.

This UNC Alliance is now faced with a significant task, turning the tide of public opinion that is growing against it. You see there are several levels of dissent Kamla has been coping with and her reconfiguration last night was meant to address all issues:

1. The MSJ Split

2. The COP discontent

3. The Muslim Vote Discontent

4. The Swing Vote Discontent over an under performing economy, spiralling crime, and corruption.


The MSJ Split means that the 5-party Panchayat is dead. This of course means that Kamla hs to pull the troops in tighter, closer, give the impression of being a tight-knit unit that includes everyone. Couple this with COP discontent over the San Fernando Mayorship and general feelings of being sidelined and ignored and the solution becomes clear: increase the number of COP members in the Cabinet, while giving Marlene Coudray a ministerial position. Look closely at the list of appointees and see what’s going on. No wonder Lincoln Douglas denied he agreed with Nalini Dial’s comments…and no wonder COP Cabinet Members and Executive members attacked Dial’s comments in such a savage way. In exercising her right to post tasteless comments on her private FB wall, Dial was upsetting the apple cart of new Eat Ah Food positions. Douglas publicly agreeing with Dial might have cost him a ministry. Now the COP has almost doubled the number of previously held positions and gone from 6 to 10 Cabinet posts. Several of those positions are held by people who never faced the electorate at the polls such as Bhoe Tewarie and Ganga Singh. To see Ganga Singh, whose name is synonymous with corruption at WASA be let back into our government has to be one of the most galling things on the face of the earth. Now Kamla’s Corruption Chorus Line of Goopeesingh, Ramadharsingh and Singh can just call themselves the Three Tenders.

The Cabinet still remains predominantly Hindu in terms of its religious make-up, but in the Jahaji Desi groups of late there has been a lot of complaint about the lack of Muslim representation. Whether unwilling or unable to add more Muslims, Kamla decided to kill two birds with one stone and add a COP member who comes from the most prominent political Muslim family. Her new Minister of Communication, Jamal Mohammed is the great-nephew of PNM stalwart Kamaluddin Mohammed, and nephew of former PNM Senator Nafeesa Mohammed. One member of the Mohammed Clan in Parliament must be the equivalent of about 50 muslims at least, right Madam PM? I hope those ratios work out for you.

Now  to issue number 4. Kamla is trading on a few givens with the Trinbagonian psyche. We have a high tolerance for corruption in this place, once our pockets not affected directly. Once we benefitting from a corrupt act or a corrupt person, Trinis will more often than not look the other way (Dear Lord thank you for my Tobagonian mother) and give people a bligh. And to the Europeans and Americans who don’t understand how there can be citizens of this country who’d support a man as obviously corrupt as Jack Warner being a member of government….that should now answer your question. Jack is beloved in his constituency because he gets things done…temporarily. And Trinis love a quick fix. Long term goals and vision does make them impatient…we like things to happen one time…and see immediate results…even if they worth fuck all. So an action man like Jack, who willing to put Fifa money where his mouth is will be immensely popular here. You want a wall built overnight? Jack will get it done….it’ll fall down the next time rain fall hard, but the point is he built the wall…and that’s what Trinis will remember. You want your national football team to get to the World Cup…easy peasy, Jack will get it done…but they don’t care that he has screwed over present and future generations of young local footballers to do so. So, Kamla, aware of all of this, appoints Warner as Minister of National Security. This appointment is an admission that John Sandy has failed and Trinis are fucked when it comes to the crime situation. Forget the SoE folks….the ultimate weapon in Kamla’s arsenal is about to be deployed. I feel quite certain that Jack has been given the mandate, by fair means or foul, bring that crime rate down! And this appointment is a double edged sword. If Jack succeeds, Kamla has 2015 in the bag….if Jack fails, he gets the axe and so does Kamla….if ever someone was relying on the strength of their partner’s hand it is Kamla.

Unfortunately this appointing of Jack as Security Minister means that the country will suffer in the short and long term. The appointment will further tarnish our international image. Even if Jack makes inroads into crime, it’ll be quick fixes. Downturns that will be quickly trumpeted all over the media, while the longterm side and after effects might just kill our children….23 years later local football still reeling from November 19th, 1989.

Larry Howai’s appointment as Minister of Finance is a better calculated risk. When the foreign team hired to turn FCB around from financial failure couldn’t do the job, it was Larry Howai that was promoted to do the job.  And I sincerely believe that he has been brought on board by Kamla to clean up the colossal mess that Dookeran made of the economy. Howai’s mandate has to be put a halt to the decline….and try and stimulate some growth, please. If he does that, he’ll be the PM’s blue eyed boy, because the two fronts on which Kamla was all geared to lose Ejection 2015, was crime and the economy…..sounds like PNM 2010 deja vu doesn’t it?

Mindful of the fact that she was getting rid of two Afro-Trinbagonians (and all yuh could cry for Verna all all yuh want, after what happened to Cheryl Miller under her tenure she deserved to be fired), and was likely to face a pounding for the ethnic make up of her Cabinet, Kamla ensured that she did the requisite window-dressing….and I want you guys to note that she ensured that the two (redundant) ministries that deal up with issues like culture and diversity are headed by Afro-Trinbagonians. Game to Kamla….let the black people and them complain now….Eintou if you aint get no money for you Support a Bad Habit Committee is because Douglas, not Kamla, turn you down.

She has also set herself up nicely to ensure that the grassroots battle for Tobago and Local Elections can be efficiently fought. The offensive Shoppin Toppin has been moved from everyone’s sight and put under Glen Ramadharsingh (shudder) and Delmon Baker is now at the forefront. It’s now up to Assworth Jack and his spinning TOP to do the necessary and try and bring home that THA Elections….Kamla depending on your hand boy!

Suruj Rambachan, who was  spectacularly inefficient as a Minister of Foreign Affairs and Communication Minister has now been made Minister of Local Government…..he’s close to all the plum Regional Corp contracts that make pocket lining so easy, and he can overseer the pack setting for next year’s local government elections. Chandresh Sharma has been given Transport, lucrative contracts and kickbacks for party financiers in that ministry as well.

So, now that we’ve arrived at this point I hope that the reader sees that the Reconfiguration exercise on the PM’s part was actually well thought out. She’s battling on several fronts and knows this. Yes, Jack Warner’s appointment as Security Minister is a big deal….but the even bigger deal here is that Kamla has begun to battle for 2015. Whether it will be effective now depends on performance. It is this that both the PNM and MSJ have to contend with.

Watch out too for the disappearance of the COP. With the MSJ gone the remaining members of the All Fours Alliance will begin to merge and morph and all sound the same. The COP’s identity is now entirely subsumed. No more standing up for principals and rights and Mayorships in San Fernando (ent Navi Murad-Ali?).

With a bigger Cabinet though comes more salaries to pay and more mouths to feed.

De Vice Cyah Done!

…The Cupboard Was Bare!

It’s Cabinet Reconfiguration week, folks. And most, if not all of you, must know  the nursery rhyme Old Mother Hubbard!

Methinks a bare cabinet is what Kamla has been coping with these past few weeks (if not 2 years), because is the same rotting shelving board and rusty hinges she trying to move around to give the impression of a new look and freshness.

And that’s one of the sad things about our politics and governance. Look around you and notice that it’s often the same old, corrupt and dishonest geezers, or young party fanatics who are only too eager toe the party line, repeat drivel and assist in violating the country further.

Since Kamla’s announce that she was going to reconfigure her Cabinet…as opposed to reshuffle, because this PM likes new words for old things….the country has been rife with speculation about which ministers will be moved and who is likely to replace whom.

I want to be a little more pro-active than that and suggest my own changes:

National Insecurity is a big issue here. Everyone (except the govt) acknowledges that there are too many problems, serious crime is up, and People Resembling Sandy needs an anatomy lesson, because like he thinking with his elbow! Instead of setting a thief to catch a thief though….in other words, Making Jack Warner Minister of National Security….which is the most persistent rumour, Kamla should instead appoint the one thing that has been tripping up and stalling the criminal elements here and then some….yes, you got it…..STRAY BULLETS…..I endorsing Stray Bullet as Minister of National Insecurity.

The Ministry of Finance is another hotspot in Kamla’s Closet…ooops, Cabinet. Because our Minister of Finance might be the only person I know who could make a gyro cart, coconut vendor or doubles man go buss! It’s Fizzle, not fiscal policy with Dooks….so, my first choice for Min of Finance is Sauce Doubles, if he turn down the work because Curepe making more money than Dooks, then hire anyone of them “foreign nationals” on the Avenue!




I believe that our loud mouthed Attorney General, who can’t recognise a piano to save his life, but knows how to interfere with Integrity Commission enquiries should be replaced by the Consitution….plain and simple. Just rest it on the seat he used to occupy in Parliament. The Cover page alone more intelligent than Anand!


As for Sports, take yuh pick Kamla, a cricket bat, football or swimming pool will sound more coherent and sophisticated, and do more for Sport in this country than Anil could “talk” about in this lifetime. Plus all three objects know that drugs and sports don’t mix!!!!!!

You also need to move Suruj as Minister of Foreign Affairs and Information. Number one, no foreign or local person would have affairs with Suruj…number two Suruj is racist and is not a true reflection of our demography…in fact your entire Cabinet ignores the complexity of the country’s demography. But I think that is deliberate, because you endorsing the Indian Time Now policy….and that’s your prerogative, but at least get someone who understands how to conduct foreign affairs….pretty much any of the imported prostitutes from Latin America that (allegedly) know Ravi Ratiram name real good!

And for Information put Sat Maharaj…yes, you heard me. Since it going to be propaganda anyway, put somebody who will make me laugh. I want to hear Sat talk about who wearing and aint wearing underwear….it seems to be quite a fixation with him…first was the OJT underwear lines, then was Harry Harnarine’s. I want to listen to Sat talk about Indians here as if they are still citizens of the continent of India….and I want to watch the Indian community here continue to remain mum on the issue of Sat and your government and the tensions and misconceptions about our society your are intent on creating.

I can’t think of who could replace Chandresh Sharma in your closet, Kamla? Maybe we should give HD a turn? After all, he sing real soca tune about Hard Wuk…..and you done very practised at handing him cheques and holding his hands in public!

Any blank copy book you find can replace Grim Doopeesingh…..and any jackass not named Deviant could handle the Transport Ministry.


Is Friday Folks…and apparently International No Drawers (Panty) Day….how fortunate for the Cupboard Lady!


De Vice Cyar Done!

Eliminating the Evidence

And it came to pass on Monday last that Grim Doopeesingh was riding a Jackass on his way to Pt Cumana

when a darkness as potent as the Keith fell upon him.

Grim jumped off his Jackass and grandcharged in the darkness,

flailing his arms about in a threatening manner,

and in the stillness that accompanied the Darkness came a voice that said,

“Verily, Verily, I say unto thee, stop thine foolishness and boileth down like a pot of Bhagee.”

Grim trembled with fear, looked at the voting population,

fell to his knees, begged forgiveness and said “I am yours to command.”
The Pantomime saw this and thought it was good.

This is the word of the Pantomime!
If you google TTPS Crime Stats up to a day ago you would get to the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service’s web page that shows the number of crimes to date in their relevant categories. It is this web page that would have provided journalist Kevin Baldeosingh with figures to refute the claims made by ACP MErvyn Richardson that “Crime is down.” Go and google the same phrase now and there is no sign of the crime statistics…..Information manipulation folks. Without information at our fingertips we can’t think for ourselves….we have to rely on the bodies in charge to think for us. So when in future Richardson say, “Crime is Down” ignore the fact that retirees being hog tied and beaten while their sons being murdered, because how can we refute Richardson’s claim when he alone has access to the figures?

It’s dangerous business when state authorities decide to manipulate facts and figures in this way. We already have a government that lies to us. As recently as this week we had Devant Maharaj claiming that three vessels were being sold for scrap and then the Director of the Water taxi service contradicted him on national television in his presence and said, no, in fact, at least one vessel going to be refurbished and sold further up the Caribbean to function as a…wait for it….wait for it….WATER TAXI!!!!!

There’s a reason folks call him Deviant. He is a cunning one, that man. Just last evening we saw precisely what hiring family members with “common sense” as the only qualification will do for us. Rabindra “Prado” Moonan announced at  CAL’s launch of the start of their London route that CAL will never again give up the London route…..Deviant gets up right after and states that he will be keeping an eye on the route and if it isn’t profitable they will cut it. Two things become immediately apparent: these people don’t do their research, nor do they consult with each other. So, cash strapped CAL didn’t do a feasibility study on this route before launching it to know if it will be profitable or not? They launch the route first and then going to “see” if it profitable? And further, you and Rabindra aint consult with each other on what you planned to say? So basically the national airline being run worse than a parlour by these two fools and we mustn’t criticise.

I see Louis putting some pressure on Coconut Vendors, now my first response to this was, “Louis on he shit again”. But now, I am not so sure. Coconuts, I am advised, go for about $10 a nut now in Port of Spain, it’s a vending item with virtually no overhead on the production end of thing (no fertilising, watering etc) basically you plant, wait, harvest and sell. These carts occupy some of the best locations in town and vend for free????? You think any of those coconut vendors actually pay income tax, NIS and Health surcharge? I doubt, and yet they enjoy some of the best real estate the city has to offer rent-free…..and after 7 coconuts done cover their rent? Look, Louis, see if you could charge rent across the board, oui! That is the one recommendation I have at this stage.

Of course the talk on most people’s lips today will be Sat’s testimony at the HCU CoE wherein he accused Harry Harnarine of putting out a hit on him…Sat’s exact wrods were that Harry paid someone to “eliminate” him….like a bowel movement? A shat? And what pissed Sat off was that when he went to the Police and reported the death threats they told him that upon investigating the report it was determined to be a low level of threat. I listened to this and felt sorry for Sat….people don’t even hate him enough to want to kill him…and for all his public huffing and puffing even the police unmoved by his plight. But the most telling moment during Sat’ testimony came from comments he made that had nothing to do with HCU, and everything to do with curry and identity. Responding to some goad from the insolent Farid Scoon, Sat boasted saying,  if you go now to London curry is the preferred food in London. “We have taken over London.”
When asked if he meant Trinis when he said “we”  he stuttered before replying, “the conquered peoples”. Imagine after being born here, living here, growing here, eating ah food here Sat’s identity still grounded elsewhere!


Is Friday people….and we still here!

De Vice Cyah Done!

Tim the Toolman….and tales of other handymen!

I want to recommend Grim Tim Doopeesingh for canonisation. Why? Because he has to be the best thing to happen to the Catholic religion here since the Nicene Council.

Anybody with half a working synapse will tell you that where you might get through with blatant corruption, nepotism and racism, the minute you start to touch people religion….their get out of jail free card with immor(t)ality….your ass is grass.

Doopeesingh’s attempted merger of a Catholic school with a Government school was tantamount to the man killing a bull and carrying it for Sat Maharaj yesterday. And as I watched the story and kuchoor unfold I wondered at the obtuseness and stupidity of Grim Tim. Even Eric the First (… Prime Minister, folks) with all the public support he had in the early years of his political career had to kowtow and concede to the Catholic Church. The details of that concession are enshrined in The Concordat, a document so powerful that even the other religious denominations for all their hatred of Catholicism hold on to it like a lifeline! we offer up a Te Deum to Dom Basil, because it was he who took on The Eric and triumphed….but I digress.

I fear Doopeesingh has never read the Concordat….indeed, I am beginning to wonder generally about his literacy and common sense. In a country where education is revered as the escape route from poverty of the working class surely Grim and his cohorts understand what religious-run schools mean to this country. There is a reason that Doopeesingh and his generation were sent to certain religious board schools, and tried to pass their Common Entrance or SEA or whatever for certain religious board schools….because in Trinidad and Tobago we have a healthy and profound belief that a religious-based education is the only path to success. Blame the missionaries who brought the idea here….our blame our society that cannot get out of its mimic men phase of existence, but government schools, whether primary or secondary, are always thought to be inferior to a religious board school. As such, these schools  possess a level of immunity that you just don’t touch!

The Concordat states quite plainly that the physical property of these schools are owned by the religious body….what it doesn’t quite state is who is responsible for building and maintenance…but if we just look at what happens around us it becomes pretty obvious. Since 1962 the Ministry of Education has undertaken to build and maintain both state and recognised religious board schools. While Facebook threads yesterday quibbled about who was responsible for maintenance and upkeep of the schools, it was eventually revealed that maintenance and upkeep actually falls under the State’s remit…..that is, the Ministry of Education….and right now the person at the helm of that ministry is none other than Grim Tim! But Town and Country has refused approval to raise another structure on the property ( i didn’t even realise we actually needed their approval to build a thing….look at Grand Bazaar…Regents Tower etc), so Grim Tim has to find an alternative…..Enter his bright idea!

This past Monday the Doopeesingh called a meeting between the parents of the Pt Cumana Govt School, the Pt Cumana RC School, the MP for Diego Martin West, aka The Keith and the Archbishop of the Catholic Church….a veritable Council of Trent!  The Archbishop maintains that he was never told all of these people would be present at the meeting….in short he was misled and waylaid by the Minister’s people, and so he declined to participate in the meeting. After listening to the concerns of the stakeholders, Doopeesingh, in his inimitably aggressive, boorish and dictatorial style, then condescended to tell the parents what would be done. Up until the Grim spoke the general idea was that there would be two schools co-existing on one compound….then it turns out that what Doopeesingh really meant was that he was going to merge and mix the two schools. The sacred and the profane…..as one school…..Tim feel he is Minsh? He was trying to make ah mas?

No, Tim, no! Do not be a martyr for your stupidity. Take it from a person who went to a Presbyterian Primary School and a Catholic Secondary School…..do not interfere with the rights and entitlements of these religious boards. Is not only Sat Maharaj and the Maha Sabha that can benefit from the Concordat. It have a reason the document name in Latin meh boy!

To merge a state and a denominational school has implications for the curricula taught as well as staffing and budget. After a merger, who decides the curricula? Who decides which teachers stay? Tim…the Concordat specifically says that the board retains rights over these areas….you forget that? Your advisers didn’t read the document at all? Not even the first 2-3 bulleted points?

And further, to tell parents that you not building a new school because you don’t want to waste tax payers dollars was pretty insulting in light of all the squandermania that has happened under this govt…let me list a few: The Arima Prison Facility to house 1 inmate, $60m; The PM’s Travel Assistant $800,000; The Crop Duster, $.9m; Fuad and Vernella’s Credit cards US$20,000; the last Budget extension $1.5bn…..the budget extension before that, do I need to go on? More money has been spent on silly frivolous things than have been spent on educating our children….and their parents are tax payers….so what shit you really coming with?

The Archbishop’s decision to seek legal advice and further, to reject the Minister’s offer, if Tim aint realise it, was a slap in the face and a tossing down of the gauntlet (a la Fluellen and Gower in Henry V). In the course of one stupidly aggressive and condescending speech Grim Tim Doopeesingh has riled up more than 300,000 people….at least that’s around how many Roman Catholics we have in Trinidad at the 2000 census. The other thing Doopeesingh forgets is this, a significant portion of non-Catholics were educated at these schools and have a soft spot for their alma maters. He has no choice but to back down on this matter and boil down like a pot of young bhagi!

Catholics will turn a blind eye to corruption, genocide and paedophilia…..but don’t touch their churches and schools!  And blaming  Keith Rowley for your hoof-in-mouth-disease is embarassing and tasteless. As Minister of Education the buck stops with you. You are the final decision maker.

Now the School has been moved to a Church Hall in Constabulary Street, and Tim, your tenure as Minister won’t be remembered for the clear cronyism going on within your ministry…..it won’t even be remembered for how you trying to screw over SEA students….it will be remembered for how you tried to mess with the Concordat and in one fell swoop got the nation’s Catholics pissed off at your highhanded ways!

You skilled Tim…You blessed and talented…I can’t remember the last time I see a man bend over AND screw himself at the same time….

In other news, the COP, who never took Anil Roberts (for his loud mouthed boorish ways) or Prakash Ramadhar (for generally letting down of the party and not upholding principles) to task now want to cruficy Nalini Dial, a woman who made a tasteless comment on her private Facebook wall. Ms Dial, who faced much public condemnation for her comments, is basically being punished for exercising her freedom of expression. Or maybe she’s being punished for her stupidity, because since the leak of the comment from her wall to the media Dial has refused to apologise (well within he right), but further to that is now making the rounds of television and radio shows to defend her comments. Really Nalini? Who on earth advising you?I sense a pre-action protocol letter in someone’s future. It’s a pity that the COP more interested in public perception over an issue that will blow away in 9 days, than in putting their political house in order….more and more they remind me of the UNC!

Oh, by the way, Marlene Coudray has stopped posing with the Prime Minister for photo ops and 48 hours after news broke of her daughter’s disappearance and possible death has arrived in Jamaica!

The HCU Enquiry continues to heat up. The most recent update is how a handyman went from rags to riches. The story today outlines for us some recurrent themes in Trinbagonian social history…our love of mimicry, penchant for corruption and predisposition for ethnic discimination. Some interesting details come out in the course of  George James’ testimony. We see his meteoric rise from being a handyman to owning a contruction and home repair company. We learn that his business was a consortium, and used as a “clearing house” for the HCU’s other businesses. We learn that James planned to build a Disneyland styled water park. That his success at the company had people wondering if Harnarine was trying to douglarise the HCU…..why contact with Afro-Trinbagonians does frighten some people so? We learn too that “the unspoken policy in the HCU is to make money off of stupid niggers”.

In short we learn many things that we already know. Ours is a corrupt, depraved, racist society on all sides of the fence…..and we like it so!
All yuh feeling Kamla’s wind of change?

De Vice Cyah Done!